lacking in character?

I have never been very good with my money. And for most of my life, I have really not made “enough” money to balance out my expenses. Sure, if I had spent less, gone to a cheaper college, not gone out to eat so often, etc . . .

but I make plenty of excuses, too. My parents had no respect for my boundaries when it came to money, and I was constantly given the message that “we don’t have enough money” in my family of origin, a message I seem to have been trying to disprove ever since.

I’ve been limited by this or that circumstance. “I was doing the best I could at the time and I just need to accept where I am at this point.” or my personal favorite, “Everybody’s broke/everybody’s in debt. It’s the American way!”

But the other day, researching background check companies for work, I wandered upon an article that really bothered me, because of the way it represented “people like me”.

“. . . such screenings have become a necessity in today’s workplace. The issue at hand is as much about the character of an employee as it is about their potential criminal history.

And beyond that, background investigations are about more than negligent hiring concerns (though those concerns are worth the effort of prevention in and of themselves). A credit check, resume check, or educational references help employers to judge the character of an employee, an important issue in today’s competitive workplace.” (

So there it is. It’s not that I made a few (hundred) bad choices, or that things “just happened” in my life. I am, at heart, simply a bad person. Obviously this is the case, right? And it could hurt my chances of getting at least some jobs . . . because, without even knowing anything else about me, someone will make a judgment about who I am based on this. I will also pay more for my car insurance because of this.

but what exactly “this” is, I’m not sure.

poor choices? a victim of my generation?

or is it truly a simple matter of lacking character?

5 thoughts on “lacking in character?

  1. wow… okay… you are not a bad person, first of all…
    but you are right in the judgments being made upon a perception… it’s the whole thing i keep saying, we make decisions about people based on the (limited) info we have on them at the time… its not the best, but its the best we have.
    okay, this was somehow supposed to make you feel better about it… i’ll put it to you this way – virtually everyone goes through that from one extent to another. i believe that those situations in life that TRULY matter in the GRAND scheme of things will be given the attention they deserve – that when a decision that will impact you soooo significantly needs to be made, that the facts, the feelings, the necessary TIME to learn about you will just happen…
    okay, not magic, a “God moment” maybe… 🙂

  2. But see . . . by me writing this post, am I not simply begging you (or anyone) to come along and say, “It’s okay . . . you’re not a bad person!”?

    maybe I really just AM a bad person, but since I’m kind of funny and entertaining to have around, nobody wants to really tell me the truth about myself. How do you know *that* isn’t the reality that I should be facing?

    I could have made entirely different choices, every step of the way. I could have (at least in theory!) learned from the first eighty-two times I screwed up and avoided that eighty-third (or one hundred eighty-third) time making the same “mistake”.

    but if the situation is really that I am just severely lacking in character, then we are dealing with an entirely different situation. that’s all I’m saying.

  3. Yes Lorraine you have made some bad decisions and have never been a “saver” really. But you can’t define yourself by those things. “Bad” people kill, rape, abuse children, etc-you don’t fall into that category.

    Plus you don’t even compare to me, who can’t keep a job for over a couple months.

  4. I think that bad credit (I was there) equals irresponsibility in certain peoples eyes. Would you hire someone that you deem irresponsible?

  5. Pingback: La, LA la la, wait ’till I get my money right | I wanna love You better whatever it takes . . .

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