am I a blogging loser?

I have serious blogging insecurities. I check my stats compulsively, searching desperately for any sign of an increase in readership.  

(and yes, WordPress, I STILL MISS MY FEED STATS!!!)

People who know far less about the internet than I do don’t assume that I am in any way deficient blog-wise . . . but that’s because they wouldn’t know a blog if it came up and bit them on the @$$.

It doesn’t help when I see my report stating that on my “best day ever”, I got 50 hits. There is a woman who writes a blog that is primarily about dog shit (granted, it’s about dog shit in one specific neighborhood in Brooklyn, but still . . . ) and I just read today that she gets 10,000 hits daily. (it’s actually a really good blog!)

 A couple of weeks ago, I noticed that some of the women whose blogs I read regularly were attending a conference for woman bloggers. I thought, “hmm, maybe I should go to that next year”–but then, in sizing up the people who were attending, I had a new fit of insecurity . . . “I’m totally not cool enough to hang out with the ladies who blog.” (is that like “ladies who lunch” for the 21st century?)

I thought I had gotten over my high school insecurities about people not liking me, but apparently not. And I am so afraid that my utter social incompetence is somehow spilling over to the online world . . . (if you’re socially incompetent in a sea of people who spend five hours a day on the internet, I’m thinking there’s not a lot of hope . . . )

But it’s more than “just” wanting to fit in . . . it’s the same thing that I’ve always struggled with–WANTING TO KNOW THAT SOMEBODY IS READING. Without that, why would we even write? and I truly believe that, as someone who has always favored feature writing, I was born to blog . . .

so what am I doing wrong? even if you never comment, this is when I really need to hear from you . . . which of the following things do you think is holding me back from blogging greatness? Choose as many as apply.

Should I . . .

a) Pick one topic and stick with it
b) Edit posts more carefully/work harder at quality of entries
c) Network more and “get my name out” to other blogs
d) Be funnier
e) Post more pictures 
f) Be patient; it takes time to build up a following! 
g) Promote myself more in my “real life” circles? (business cards with my blog name on them?!)
h) Get a life and stop caring about it
i) Repent of my blog idolatry
j) stop trying so hard on the theory that I shouldn’t want to belong to a club that would want me as a member
k) other_________________________________________

7 thoughts on “am I a blogging loser?

  1. The words “cool” and “blogger” should never be mixed, my friend. For what it is worth, I think you’re cool and will gladly accept you into my club of non-members.

    Miss H

    P.S.: “F”, “H” and “J” are the right answer.

  2. h.
    and maybe i.
    and also, another option for you: stop asking other people what to do and be confident in your own blog-ness just as you are. do it for YOU. even if you don’t get one damn post.

  3. Did you know that almost 20% of our attendees at BlogHer this year didn’t have a blog and were there to start? It’s true, so you would have been way advanced to those folks 🙂

    I think next year we’re going to have a pre-conference event for BlogHer first-timers. So many people feel the exact same way because they’re new, and if you had that party before hand, then NONE of them would be new…they’d already have each other!

    So, hope we see you next year 🙂

  4. I agree with Becky. Quit searching for validation from random people who have no lives and sit on the internet and read all freakin’ day! H is the only right answer in my opinion. I think this is a good outlet for your thoughts, period.

  5. F G H I J K (you can fill in the K with what you want, but I’m thinking “Caucasoid”)

    I think you are the only person who ever reads mine ( for some shameless self promotion). hhhmmm… Now to just figure out how to create hyperlinks.

    Hunney, you’re just fine, at least you make regular entries. It had been so long I forgot how to even get in– TO MY OWN!

  6. for *Caucasoid* explanation, go to my blog. well in a little while from the instant this is posted, because it’s not there yet.

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