It is an almost indescribable blessing to have a friend who has known you for thirty of your thirty-seven years.
I guess it is no wonder, then, that I am at a loss for words at this time, and feeling an emptiness that I am not quite sure how to identify.
I distract myself with silly websites, mindless, yet somehow addictive online games, and whatever else I can think of . . . but this hole in my heart is still there, and I am still just not sure how I “should” feel right now . . . which leaves me cursing the dysfunction of my childhood that has rendered me so utterly unable to identify what I’m feeling, when really I should be praising the God who saw fit to create me and save me, and who has given me the capacity to love at all . . .