and I am trying to remind myself that so far, this is all it is–a bad week. but I don’t know WHAT to think, really. I do know myself and the world well enough that I probably need to give myself some time to get caught up on rest, and to get some distance from this week, but part of me is wondering about when it’s time to stop fighting and just realize that an organization is never going to change.
Do I give up too easily?
Am I the one with the problem? (since I seem to find fault in first my church, and now my workplace . . . but wait–my workplace IS my church–in a manner of speaking, anyway.)
Am I supposed to be in this place, learning these things, experiencing these frustrations, for a reason?
Is every organization basically incapable of change and doomed to repeat the same mistakes over and over?
Is there anybody IN this organization who will hear me, and more importantly, who will be able to do anything about it?
hopefully I can get to sleep fairly soon. stay tuned and we’ll see if that helps at all . . .
I wanna love You better whatever it takes . . . 
Change of any kind is incredibly slow and painful.
Personal change is even more so.
And institutional change is excruciatingly slow.
But without people who push the edges, it never happens at all.
Deep thought for the day.
People always think they are doing things the most efficient and effective way. If they are not open to listen- there comes a point where you give up and laugh inside knowing they are stupid, stubborn and that you are the better person for being open and able to challenge status quo.