Festivus-esque funeral rituals

Every time I attend a funeral, I find myself thinking about talking about the things I would like to see at my own funeral.  Perhaps this is morbid, but I also have extremely detailed plans for my wedding, and THAT’S not going to happen anytime soon, either!

At any rate,  up until now the two components that seemed to me to be non-negotiable if I were to have a successful funeral were a) people coming up and telling the funniest story they knew about me and b) lots of good, good music (including my favorite bluegrass–NOT COUNTRY–song called “All my tears“).

but now I realize that I have missed an essential piece that would make my funeral a fabulous one . . . in the true spirit of Festivus, there absolutely HAS to be an “airing of the grievances”. So now, everybody needs to come up, share a funny story about me, and then share one thing about me that REALLY PISSED THEM OFF.

and with that, my funeral would be perfect. too bad I wouldn’t be around to see it!

(if you’d like to get a head start on airing those grievances, feel free to add your comments here!)

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