“I’m smart; you’re dumb. I’m big; you’re small. I’m right, you’re wrong. And there’s nothing you can do about it.”
Harry Wormwood, from Roald Dahl’s Matilda.

It’s been a couple of weeks already, and although I started this post almost immediately after it happened, it was just too raw and it’s taken me until now to finish this. And even at this point, I’m not sure I’m going to be able to express myself . . . but here goes.

A good friend of mine has always referred to Child Protective Services as “the People” . . . as in, “you don’t want to get the People up in your business.” Unfortunately, a few weeks ago I had the heart-wrenching experience of standing with a friend who had found herself on the wrong side of “the People”. It was one of the most . . . I can’t even find the word. disempowering?! heart-breaking?! I’m not sure a word even exists to describe how I felt that day.

The quote I began this post with went through my head many times over the course of the day. My dear “sister”, the mother on trial in this situation, had zero power, and zero allies. Nobody in that court was on her side, and she had no voice. I found myself weeping uncontrollably, feeling so much a part of her powerlessness, reliving every moment of my life when I’d felt that same powerlessness myself.

When the CPS worker took the stand, she was positively smug. Perhaps my friend had been contrary and difficult before, causing trouble for the CPS worker, but at this point, she had the power–she was in control–and she knew it. Why? Because she had total power over my friend in this situation, and she knew it. She could tear apart this family with just a few words. Nothing my friend could say or do at that moment would help her except total obsequiousness.

My friend has been making choices that are less than wise. I haven’t been happy with those choices myself, and have told her as much. But she has also been through more in her life than even I can fathom, and I think my own childhood was fairly bad. And yet, she truly has done the best she can. I believe that with all of my heart. And I also know that plenty of abuse goes on behind closed middle- and upper-class doors, and yet the system, and the “People”, disproportionately target low-income and minority families in their purported quest to keep families “safe”.

I don’t know if this post is making any sense. It still hurts too much to think about it for very long. And It’s not over yet . . .so I try to drown out the ugly voice of power, and to replace it with other, more hopeful words:

This is my Father’s world
O let me ne’er forget
That though the wrong seems oft so strong,
God is the ruler yet.

I think this was written in 1992 . . . see if you can figure out some of the folks she alludes to here . . .

I post this here tonight because I can’t get the one line out of my head about “invited to the party”.

Maybe I’m overly optimistic . . . but I so want to believe that the party is about to begin . . . and this time, everyone’s invited . . .

JIM CROW: The Sequel

An angry Black woman on the subject of the angry White man.

We didn’t always need affirmative action
When we broke this crazy land into farms
when we planted and harvested the crops
when we dug into the earth for water
when we carried that water into the
big house kitchens and bedrooms
when we built that big house
when we fed and clothed other people’s
children with food we cooked and
served to other people’s children, wearing
the garments that we fitted and we sewed
together, when we hacked and hauled
huge trees for lumber and fuel, when we
washed and polished the chandeliers,
when we bleached and pressed the linens
purchased by blood profits from our daily
forced laborings, when we lived under the
whip and in between the coffle and chains,
when we watched our babies sold away
from us, when we lost our men to
anybody’s highest bidder, when slavery
defined our days and our prayers and our
nighttimes of no rest–then we did not
need affirmative action.

Like two-legged livestock we cost the
bossman three hundred and fifteen dollars
or six hundred and seventy-five dollars
so he provided for our keep
like two-legged livestock
penned into the parched periphery of very
grand plantation life. We did not need
affirmative action. NO! We needed
freedom: We needed overthrow,
revolution and a holy fire to purify the air.
But for two hundred years this crazy
land the law and the bullets behind the law
continued to affirm the gospel of
God-given White supremacy.
For two hundred years the law and the
bullets behind the law, and the money and
the politics behind the bullets behind the
law affirmed the gospel of
God-given White supremacy/
God-given male-White supremacy.

And neither the Emancipation Proclamation
nor the Civil War nor one constitutional
amendment after another nor one Civil Rights
legislation after another could bring about a
yielding of the followers of that gospel
to the beauty of our human face.

Justice don’t mean nothin’ to a
hateful heart!

And so we needed affirmative action. We
needed a way into the big house
besides the back door. We needed a chance at
the classroom and jobs and open housing
in okay neighborhoods.
We needed a way around the hateful hearts of
America. We needed more than freedom
because a piece of paper ain’t the
same as opportunity
or education.
And some thirty years ago we agitated
and we agitated until the President said,
“We seek…
not just equality
as a right and a theory
but equality as a fact
and as a result.”

And a great rejoicing rose like a spirit
dancing
fresh and happy on the soon-to-be-the-
integrated-and-most-uppity ballroom floor
of these United
States.
And Black folks everywhere dressed up in
African-American pride
and optimism.
From the littlest to the elders
we shined our shoes and brushed our hair
and got good and ready for
“equality as a fact.” But
three decades later, and come to find out
we never got invited to the party
we never got included in “the people”
we never got no kind of affirmative action
worth more than a spit in the wind.

And yesterday
the new man
in the White House/
the new President declared,”What we have
done for women and minorities is a good
thing, but we must respond to those who
feel discriminated against…This is a
psychologically difficult time for the
so-called angry White man.”

Well I am here to tell the world that
46 percent of my children living in poverty
does not feel good to me
and my brothers in prison and not in college
does not feel good to me
psychologically
or otherwise!

Catch that angry White man and tell him
“Get a grip!”

Forty-six percent of the American labor
force is constituted by White men but White
men occupy 95 percent of all senior
management positions!
And as a wise Black man
recently observed
“This supposedly beleaguered minority
(White males are about one-third of the
population) makes up 80 percent of the
Congress, four-fifths of tenured university
faculty, nine-tenths of the Senate
and 92 percent of the Forbes 400.”

Tell me who’s angry!

I say the problem with affirmative action
seems to me like way too much affirmative
talk and way too little action!

And unless you happen to belong to that
infinitesimal club of millionaire Black folks
got one hundred and eight thousand dollars
to throw into the campaign pot of their
nearest and dearest
full-time political racist,
I think you better join with me to agitate
and agitate for justice and
equality we can eat
and pay the rent with
NOW.

(hmmm. just realized I never posted this. so here goes.)

Seriously. I’m trying to move on to another topic, but it’s been one of those weeks.

First, there was this bullshit:

I like that Field asked, “Is that the same as ‘those people’?

But seriously, folks. it has NOT been a good week for those who would like us to believe that Obama’s campaign for the presidency means that racism is dead and buried in this country of ours.

Let’s see what else we’ve got . . .

Obama burned in effigy . . . at a Christian college. Nice.

Palin preying on her supporters’ already festering ignorance. People are starting to question whether this will backfire.

Meanwhile, her supporters are yelling out “kill him!” and one even said to an African-American news station employee, “Sit down, boy!”

[Nope, we're good. no racism here!]

By the time McCain tries to backtrack, it’s almost beside the point.

I am getting really, really tired of this. And I’m too tired to say much more right now (or maybe my sleeping pill is finally kicking in?) so maybe I’ll have more later this week . . . [footnote: or two months later . . . when we already WON so who cares, right? well, stay tuned . . . ]

Please sign the petition: http://www.colorofchange.org/united/?id=2176-200848

and PLEASE vote.

I thought I’d solved this . . . but the “new” computer (my “flea market” laptop) actually doesn’t have IE installed yet, so I can’t even get back to using the IE feed . . .

But here’s the thing . . . I’ve tried the Firefox plug-ins . . . I’ve tried using my Yahoo page . . . heaven help me, I’ve actually tried to use Google Reader! 

And I HATE. THEM. ALL.

I want my feeds the way IE does them . . . all lined up in a pretty little row, titles only, and highlighted if there’s new stuff I need to read.

I don’t want to see a snippet of every flippin’ article (over a hundred, remember?) every time I sign on.

I don’t want to have to navigate back and forth to another page when I need to get back to my list. I want to be able to just click on that handy little sidebar and go from there.

I know that I have way too many feeds . . . and I will pare them down, I promise! But there are too many that I truly DO want to read that are falling by the wayside. Do you know how long it’s going to take me to catch up on this guy’s blog? or this? or this? or this? Seriously, this is my tivo . . . and I’m severely compromised without it.

so for now, do I go back to reading blogs on the dinosaur desktop computer in the red room, and doing everything else while lounging in bed, using the laptop?

If you hate the new Facebook layout (then you should’ve started sooner! just kidding), then you may have a tiny smidgen of understanding of how VERY much I hate this. and my own advice to others vis-a-vis FB doesn’t apply here . . . I don’t WANT to “just get used to it”.

(wah, wah, wah. anybody got some cheese to go with this whine?!)

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