And I’ll have them for like 300 years because I almost never write checks anymore ever since the tithing went out the window . . . (I pay just about all of my bills online.)

But of course, when you order checks, you always get an envelope promising “EXCLUSIVE CAN’T-MISS OFFERS JUST FOR YOU!”, and this check order was no exception. However, two things in particular caught my eye this time around, and I knew I had to share them here.

Exhibit A: 

Seriously? What do they MEAN, “Only you’ll know”!? I’m QUITE sure that if I show up tomorrow at work wearing one of these contraptions, it WON’T be “only me” who will know. Unless maybe I go for the “Trendy Headband Styles”.

Exhibit B:
This one’s not a rant . . . I just thought that these cute little mini-books were, well, VERY CUTE. It’s a shame I’m just about too old to be able to read that tiny print . . . otherwise, it could be fun. Seriously, how could you possibly go wrong with a handsome, custom-designed wooden bookcase ABSOLUTELY FREE! (with purchase of many, many, MANY miniature books)?

(and in case you’re wondering . . . although the first three are “just $1.95 each!”, subsequent books (sent at a rate of three per month!) are $7.95 each. plus shipping and handling.)

These are TOTALLY going to be my new checks